That Weird Sinking Feeling

So I was psyched about having an interview this morning at DFC. It was the first time I got a call out of the blue that gave me a good feeling about the upcoming interview. YAY! Even did a ton of resume prep, paperwork prep, and an all around concentrated prep for this interview itself. So now I feel like I have bombed it miserably. Two essay type forms to fill out, not a huge deal, I have made treatment plans and assessments before. Buzzzzzzzzz. Eh? I am in the front lobby trying to fill this stuff out and I’ve got a Jerry Springer show going on in the room. I was putting forth my best effort to ignore this and continue on with the task at hand. So then, in the back of my mind, I am thinking to myself, “What if this is a test and I am supposed to intervene somehow?” I stayed out of it, because I somehow doubt a government agency would go through those kinds of lengths to ensure hiring a worthy employee. Right? I sure as hell hope so.

With that thought, I wonder if we as human beings, perhaps animals at our most basic levels, if we actually breed our future. That mother and daughter on Medicaid and food stamps, did she breed her daughter right into the system? Who’s paying for all this shit? ME! YOU! Yes YOU! Any hard working tax paying American is pumping funds into this Jerry Springer culture that I was stuck watching all too uncomfortably mind you. It’s sad that I am thinking this way today. I’m usually not feeling negative towards social benefits that are meant to help people. Crimany!

Perhaps I am feeling grumpy from the fact I’ve got a dying relative in the hospital. I really don’t want to contemplate a string of old relatives pushing up daisies. Shit happens in threes in my family, so I don’t want to think about who number two or three is going to be this year. Last time someone died in the family, it was grandma, then Auntie Aggie, and then Uncle Bill. The killer part of that deal was the day we buried Auntie A, Uncle B died. It was a messed up time for the family. Crap! I don’t want to think about this. :(

Oh well, I gotta get back to work here. Just want to update those who actually read this blog. :) Funny though, no one ever signs it or comments on it except in a chat here and there. Harumph.


Tammolly ~ Wishing for that sinking feeling to go away today.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin